Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
