Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
