Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
