I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I would ride that face into the sunset
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
