Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(209): View more from California

it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits

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(207): View more from Maine

you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment

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(604): View more from British Columbia

Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it

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(303): View more from Colorado

Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished

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(260): View more from Indiana

Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.

(219): View more from Indiana

You said that last year...

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(315): View more from New York

My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.

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(502): View more from Kentucky

He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.

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(702): View more from Nevada

Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!

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