I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
