apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
