You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Randomize
