Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
