i think my tv is drunk
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
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