Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize