I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
