Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
