i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
