no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
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