I would go down on you faster than GM stock
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
