So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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