There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
