Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
