Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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