I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I enjoy the company of your penis
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
