That's when you crack a 10am beer
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Randomize
