What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Ladies don't puke and tell
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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