i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
she told me i tasted like america
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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