What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
