Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
