people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
