We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize
