He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
