There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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