So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
