If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Randomize
