I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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