My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
