i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
