Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
