They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
