why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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