3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
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