Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
it's like heaven, but drunker
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
