WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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