i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
If I die, sorry about rent.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
