Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Randomize
