"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize