So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
