Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
