He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
