But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
