I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
