they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
