So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
