i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize