I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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