Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
