I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
