i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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