when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
