Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
