i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
