I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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